


If I Believed in Soulmates, Alexander (You Would Be Mine)

by darkangel86



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Guilt, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Nightmares, No Smut, Sad Alec, Sweet Magnus, True Love, just love, post 2x13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 10:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11273205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkangel86/pseuds/darkangel86
Summary: “Your burdens are my burdens, Alexander. Don’t you know that?” Magnus asked softly, his own hands coming up to tangle in the hair at the back of Alec's neck. “I am always here, if you need someone to talk to. I will help if I can and offer a shoulder when I can't but sweetheart, I am here for you.”





	If I Believed in Soulmates, Alexander (You Would Be Mine)

**Author's Note:**

> This can technically be considered a continuation of my last fic Dance with Me? but you don't need to have read it in order to read this one.
> 
> Just some Malec love with a side of Alec angst. These two turn me into a massive sap. It's ridiculous.
> 
> Also, spoilers for both episode 12 and 13 so be warned if you haven't seen them yet.

“Alexander?” Magnus called out, pulling Alec from his thoughts. “Is everything okay, darling?”

Alec grimaced where he stood, half ready for bed with a shirt clutched tightly in his hands. Technically everything was fine. He and Magnus had talked, at length, about the things that had happened lately, both making promises to talk to the other when situations like their most recent one arose, instead of getting angry and closing themselves off from the other. Things were on the mend with them and their relationship and for that Alec couldn’t remember ever being more thankful. But that didn’t stop the nagging thought that lingered in the back of his mind or the images that plagued his mind when he attempted to sleep.

“Its, I’m fine, Magnus,” Alec tried but knew of course that his lover could see right through him.

“Alexander, what did we just discuss? No more keeping things from each other, right? Well, darling, it’s obvious you’re not telling me something. Have I done something wrong?” Magnus asked nervously and Alec surged forward and pulled Magnus in to his arms, dropping his shirt on the floor beside his feet.

“No! No, Magnus, absolutely not! You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just, it’s me. I’m dealing with something that is completely my own and I just can’t seem to shake it. But it’s not you. You’re perfect, you are fine. _I promise_.” Alec assured him, pulling back but still holding on tightly to the man he loved.

“Your burdens are my burdens, Alexander. Don’t you know that?” Magnus asked softly, his own hands coming up to tangle in the hair at the back of Alec's neck. “I am always here, if you need someone to talk to. I will help if I can and offer a shoulder when I can't but sweetheart, I am here for you.”

Alec felt something in his chest shift, allowing him to breathe a little easier. He may not ever know what he’d done to deserve Magnus but Alec thanked the angels above for allowing him into his life. 

“It’s those trackers, the ones the Clave wanted to implant in the Downworlders. I can’t get them out of my head.” Alec finally admitted, slumping ever so slightly into Magnus' embrace.

“They’re gone, Alexander. You said so yourself that you had them destroyed almost immediately after Jace made you Head of the Institute .” Magnus assured him, rubbing gently at his arms now.

“I destroyed the ones in our possession, Magnus, but who's to say there aren’t more out there somewhere and the Clave is just waiting for the chance to strike and use them. By the angel, Magnus, the thought of innocent people being injected with those things against their will, it’s sickening.” Alec said, suddenly going wide eyed and pale as he spoke. “You weren’t the first one I thought of when I saw them.” He admitted, his voice shaking.

Magnus felt his eyes widen at Alec’s words. 

“I mean, of course you were! But it wasn’t just you!” Alec hurried to correct himself. “All I could see, all I can still see, Magnus, is Madzie.”

“Alec…” Magnus said, eyes once again wide as he looked into his lover’s tear filled eyes.

“I can see her, Magnus, being held down by Shadowhunters I’ve known my entire life. I can hear her screaming for help, crying because they're hurting her and I can’t stop it! I can’t stop them and she's in so much pain and it’s my fault! It’s all my fault because once again, I blindly followed orders, just like the good little soldier I was raised to be!” Magnus was helpless to stop Alec as he began crying in earnest, his hands balled tightly into fists at his side.

“Oh, my darling.” Magnus said, his own voice breaking as he spoke. Dropping down onto his knees, in front of where Alec had all but collapsed on the bed behind them, Magnus grasped Alec's still clenched fists. “Madzie is fine, she is safe and being well looked after and no one, Shadowhunter or Downworlder alike, can touch her. I would never allow it.” Magnus said fiercely as he maneuvered Alec's fists apart to link their fingers together.

“I know she’s safe, Magnus. I know that but it doesn’t stop the images from flooding my mind. I can hear her screaming in my sleep.” Alec admitted, a stray tear escaping his eye and rolling down his cheek.

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner, Alexander? Why would you keep this from me?” Magnus asked, his own heart breaking at the sudden look on Alec's face.

“Because it’s not just Madzie I can’t save. It’s you too. I can see you, strapped into that chair again, only this time it’s you in your body, not Valentine's and I don’t stop it. I let it happen.” Alec said, his voice dropped so low that if Magnus hadn't been as close as he was to the other man, he might not have heard him. The shame in Alec's voice broke Magnus' heart.

“It’s not real though, darling. It’s not.” Magnus said urgently. “You stopped them before and you would do it again if you had to, I know you would. I trust you and I believe in you and I know, _Alexander I know_ , you would save me every single day for the rest of our lives if you had to. Just as I would do for you.” Magnus voice left no room for argument as he moved forward to gather Alec into his arms, holding him tightly, praying his words sunk in and settled into Alec's mind.

“I don’t deserve you.” Alec said sadly and something inside Magnus broke.

“And what, my darling Shadowhunter, makes you think that I deserve you? You are beautiful and so loving, so generous and I am nowhere close to that. I am broken and used and not worthy of being loved by you. I know it, the Clave knows it. And yet, here I am, in your arms, being loved by someone the angels above have decided I am allowed to love and cherish for the rest of my days, because you are it for me, you silly Shadowhunter. There will be no one else for me once you’re gone.” Magnus admitted, as truthfully as he knew how.

“Magnus…” Alec said breathlessly, his eyes wide as he looked down into the yellow green cat eyes he loved so much.

“So, now you know my secret and I know yours and we are both to forget the silly notions that we don’t deserve each other right this instant. We have to forget them because I refuse to let you believe you don’t deserve me. You do, my darling. More than anyone ever has. If I believed in something as silly as soulmates, I’d know you were mine. I knew the very first time I saw you and I will continue to believe it until I draw my last breath, be it tomorrow or five hundred years from now. You are my everything, Alexander.” Magnus heaved a deep breath when he finished speaking, finally choosing to look away from Alec's stunned expression.

“What could I have done to deserve you?” Alec asked with a breathtaking smile.

“I often ask myself that very same thing,” Magnus said with smile of his own. “Now, I think we both deserve a good night’s rest after all of this and tomorrow I will call Catarina and see when we might be able to take Madzie for the day. Or weekend. Whichever.” 

“Really, Magnus?” Alec asked excitedly and Magnus laughed at the sheer happiness on his lover’s face.

“For you my darling, of course.” 

“I love you, Magnus, so much.” Alec said adamantly before leaning in to press a soft kiss to the other man’s lips. 

“I love you too, my darling Alexander,” Magnus said and with a snap of his fingers turned out the lights as he climbed into bed beside Alec. “Now sleep, darling, and wake me if you need me.”

Alec sighed contentedly as he wrapped his arms securely around Magnus and felt Magnus' arms wrap around him.

Instead of the pain and devastation Alec had spent the last few nights dreaming about, that night his mind was filled with nothing but the love and happiness Magnus made him feel every minute of every day. It was the best night’s sleep Alec could ever remember having.

**Author's Note:**

> Such sappy boys. ❤❤❤


End file.
